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Sunday, August 3rd, 2008
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9:23 am - For Amanda
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| Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
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8:33 am
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I am so sick of this. GET OVER IT. I want to just scream sometimes. This is now affecting other friendships as well. Oh god, I give up. I will never ever figure this thing out as long as I live. AHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of caring. Like I said before, if I don't know what I did, I can't fix it and frankly my dear, I'm tired of giving a shit at all.
****Disclaimer**** This is not about anyone that would ever read this, so please do not think it's you. Just needed to vent a little before I get all teary-eyed and make a fool out of myself here at work. AHHH!
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{2 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
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7:54 pm
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Well tax season is in full bloom and that means that I have even less of a life. Ugh. I love what I do, but I definitely could do without the 53+hours a week. My head is so jam packed with "stuff" right now, I'm surprised it hasn't exploded. I'm going to 3 diabetes education classes over the course of the next couple of weeks to learn as much as I can and figure out how exactly this is going to affect my life. The hardest part for me is limiting my carbs. I love food, and to tell the truth...I love carbs. Surprisingly though, I haven't found it to be too terribly hard to do. I'm still learning, and with any hope I'll be feeling better soon! I've also been dreaming very vividly lately. In one dream I found out my uncle was a murderer and found a skull burried in his backyard. In another, well you all know who else I dream about. Ugh. I seriously don't think about him hardly ever (damn it has been 7 years!!) and yet he still seems to sneak up into my dreams. And of course, when I do have a dream that I remember, I tend to linger on in for hours, if not days (including the murdering uncle one). Also, I can't seem to get away from the whole "competing" for a friendship thing. It seems no matter where I'm at in life, at some point I feel as though I have to "compete" for someone's friendship. Eventually, I give up. I haven't yet, but I'm definitely not competing. I've never really seen the point in it. I just get sick of feeling like I'm not good enough to be on the same "grounds" as other friends.
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{5 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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3:50 pm
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shoot me if you feel the need to but, I've heard 2 Christmas songs already today and it makes me sooo happy! :) Sometimes that's all we need to brighten an otherwise dingy day :)
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{4 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Sunday, October 1st, 2006
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6:53 pm
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My baby is crawling. It is even possible that he is 27 weeks old already? Last Sunday we celebrated his 6 month birthday. That was also the day that he started to really crawl. Good thing Andy and I decided to fork over the money and buy a camcorder the day before! Every day I count my blessings on how lucky I am to have him (and Andy too!). I may not have the best in other areas of my life, but when it comes to my family, everything seems great there.
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{11 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
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10:47 pm
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A lot of things have been bumming me out lately. But, I'm trying really hard to not let them get to me. I'm so glad that I have my baby boy. All I have to do is look in his eyes and for that instant everything just seems so insignificant. I wish there was a way to get that feeling all the time.
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{2 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Friday, August 25th, 2006
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8:48 am - Erica's Due Date
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Since were at less than 2 weeks until Erica's due date I think we should do guessing game for Erica's due date....any takers?
I'm guessing August 30th.....
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{10 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Thursday, August 24th, 2006
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12:32 pm
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Ahh!! I waited how many years for Sister Hazel to do a concert at CMU and this sunday they are doing a FREE show (probably for welcome weekend) and I don't know if I can go! I'd have to get a babysitter and all that jazz......ahh!!! I so want to go...I LOVE them!
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{6 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Monday, July 24th, 2006
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6:47 pm
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Ever find yourself searchin for something and then when you find it, wish you never had? I got that pit feeling in my stomach last night. I swore I'd never feel that way again. What's a girl to do?! I'm still wishing for my one chance......maybe someday.
Last night I had a dream Justin Timberlake was gay. My heart was shattered. I even woke up believing it.
On a brighter note, something exciting happened yesterday. We were outside and "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts came on the radio. Andy was just about to leave, but decided to stay and let me listen to the song. Aww how sweet. He then admitted that not only does he like the song but it's his favorite by RF. And that he likes it best out of all the others on the CD. He frickin listens to my cd! Score. I got Andy to like country! :)
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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| Monday, May 15th, 2006
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11:47 pm
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hahahaha...the Monster Ballads Cd commercial was just on. I think I wore that CD out! Oh how I miss it! Whatever happened to my winking cutie at the end?
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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| Saturday, May 6th, 2006
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8:44 am - May 6th means....
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| Saturday, April 29th, 2006
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9:50 am
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Andy and I went on our first date last night since Brayden was born. It consisted of dinner and a little shopping. It's hard to get out and do the shopping you want with an infant. Mom and dad babysat and I didn't even freak out being away from him for 5 whole hours. I'm proud of myself. Andy and I had some really good conversation, it was so nice to be able to just talk. What a great guy I'm married to.
This song is my new favorite song. I really like it. I love music. I feel like I can relate to just about every song, which can be good and bad, I guess. Sometimes I feel like the songwriters go deep inside my head to write their songs, they just seem to fit me perfectly. This takes me back a couple of years, like this is exactly how I was feeling in college when Andy and I started dating.
Every Time I Hear Your Name
By Keith Anderson
Fin'lly got over that song of ours; stopped chasin' little red sports cars,
To check the license plates an' back wood drivin' by your place.
Back makin' the rounds at our old haunts: Honky Tonks, restaurants.
An' seein' some of our old friends: it feels good to dance again.
An' I can fin'lly smell your perfume an' not look around the room for you.
An' I can walk right by your picture in a frame an' not feel a thing.
But when I hear your name,
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
An' it's the fifth of May, an' I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
An' nothin's changed, an' we're still same.
An' I get lost in the innocence of a first kiss,
An' I'm hangin' on to every word rollin' off of your lips:
An' that's all it takes, an' I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.
Got someone special in my life: everyone thinks she'd make a great wife.
Dad says he thinks she's the one: reminds him of Mom when she was young,
But it's way too soon to be talkin 'bout rings; don't wanna rush into anything.
She's getting over someone too, kinda like me an' you.
An' she talks about him every once in a while, an' I just nod my head an' smile,
'Cause I know exactly what she's goin' through: yeah, I've been there too.
An' when the conversation turns to you,
I get caught in a "you were the only one for me",
Kinda thought, an' your face is all that I see.
I know I can't go back when I still go back.
An' there we are, a point down by the riverside,
An' I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time,
An' that's all it takes, an' I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.
So I'm thinkin' 'bout the words I left unsaid.
(Every time I hear your name.)
Stop tryin' the change the things I can't change.
(Every time I hear your name.)
In my heart I know you're gone, but in my head,
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
An' it's the fifth of May, an' I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
That's all it takes, an' I'm in that place.
An' there we are, a point down by the riverside,
An' I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time.
An' I can't explain, but I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.
Every time I hear your name.
(Every time I hear your name.)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
(Every time I hear your name.)
Ah ah.
Every time I hear your name.
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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| Friday, April 28th, 2006
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12:33 am - yes...I'm bored
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First Reactions
1. I need a cigarette: never ever
2. Sex: is forbidden for about 2 more weeks
3. Relationships: we all have them
4. Your Last Ex:is married to a lunatic
5. Power: the lights going out
6. Marijuana: maryjane
7. Crack: kills
8. Food: addicted
9. This President: not to keen on some of his decisions
10. War: will it ever end?
11. Cars: I want a new one, a family car
12. Gas Prices:WAY too high
13. Halloween: I can't wait to dress Brayden up and go trick or treating
14. Bon Jovi: "Who says you can't go home?"
15. Religion: is very important
16. MySpace: addicting
17. Worst Fear: Being a horrible mom/wife
20. Brunettes: have more fun than blondes
21. Redheads: have gorgeous hair
22: Work: do I have to go back?
23: Pass the time:watching tv
25: One night Stands: Never had one
26: Pet Peeve: people driving down the road with their blinker on for miles
27: Pixie Stix: waaay too much sugar
28: Vanilla Ice:Alright, stop callaberate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new invention...I could keep going
29: Porta Potties: YUCK
30: High school: hated it at the time, but now miss it
31: Pajamas: comfy
32. Wood: knock on wood
33. Surfers: hot guys
34. Pictures: I take a lot of pics of Brayden
35. First Love: Chad
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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| Friday, March 17th, 2006
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9:15 am
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I read yesterday that Phil Collins and his wife are split up.....does this mean I have a chance ;) He's only 50 years old. Not bad. He could sing to me every night.
Okay okay, you got me, I wouldn't give up Andy for anyone, not even Phil....
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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| Monday, March 13th, 2006
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3:12 pm
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So, it's 3:05 on Monday and I'm home. I've been up since 12:30 last night. I'm tired as hell, and slightly irritated. I told Andy I'd feel so stupid if they were false contractions and, lo and behold, they were. Well, they were contractions, but just not ones to put me into labor. Why, because apparantly having a bladder infection can cause contractions. Still only dialated to 1 and thinned 60%. So, after havng spent 4 hours in the hospital, I'm home forced to take an antibiotic 4 times a day to get rid of the stupid bladder infeciton.
I know that I only have 17 days left until my due date, but I can't help feeing a little disappointed. I've been so nervous for about 2 or so months about labor and being a mom, but last night I was ready. I couldn't wait to hold Brayden and finally be a mom. I guess 17 days isn't so long to have to wait. So, tomorrow it's back to work where I'll have to explain myself and feel even more stupid. Oh well.
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{2 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Friday, January 27th, 2006
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9:21 am
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Is there such thing as pre-partum depression? I may have that. I want to crawl in a hole and cry my life away forever. I hate this. I feel like everyone hates me, thinks I'm incompetent and too fat for my maternity clothes.
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{5 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
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9:55 am - prayer request...
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Hey guys, I have a prayer request...
A friend's brother was killed yesterday in IRAQ. He was still very young, around 20 years old. He left behind a fiance and his family. Could you all keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers?? Thanks!
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{2 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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4:18 pm - My thought for the day
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Is there really anyone out there that a person can really trust? Does everyone have to say things to make someone look completely stupid? Just something I've been thinking about lately.
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{2 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Monday, November 14th, 2005
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1:54 pm
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For all of you who were wondering.....
The third time was a charm! We spent 45 minutes in with the ultrasound technician and we found out that we're most likely having a......
boy!
We can't wait for Andrew Phillip Jr :)
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{7 dreams - fall asleep}
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| Friday, November 11th, 2005
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8:54 am
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Just wanted to let you all know that I didn't get my ultrasound done yesterday as planned. I am surely cursed because it broke down again yesterday morning just before I got there. I'm rescheduled, but for superstition's sake, I'll just let you know how it goes after the fact so that I don't feel like I'm jinxing myself again.
But, thanks to all of you that were concerned and/or wondering about the results. You all are awesome friends!
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{1 dream - fall asleep}
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amberlynne44's journal
